


I Scream, You Scream

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Heterosexual Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, The Quidditch Pitch: Erotic Couplings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-06
Updated: 2009-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-27 08:19:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10805328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: Harry learns that ice cream is his favorite dessert.  (Fo the prompt: "This fic must include a Prank. Any prank. Onanyone.")





	I Scream, You Scream

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes: (Originally written 7/7/2007)  


* * *

  
"They're in there!"  Fred swore, pointing into the dark cupboard.

"Yeah, we put crates and crates of books in there when we were here that summer before our seventh year," George chimed in, rummaging through some boxes of old knick-knacks in the basement of Grimmauld Place.  "Mum claimed they were full of dark magic, but Remus wouldn't let her throw them out."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the suspiciously innocent-looking twins, and put her hands on her hips.  "Well, since you put them in there, you can just as easily get them out for me."

"Yeah, right," George scoffed, pausing momentarily in his scavenging.  "We had to drag all those boxes in there to begin with—by hand, mind you, 'cause Mum was scared to let us use magic around them.  I think you two can take it from here."

Fred smirked as he plopped into a ratty old armchair, causing a poof of dust to fly up into the air.  "And besides, there's _tons_ of books in there.  We don't know which ones you're looking for.  And if you think we're going to cart them all out, back and forth for your majesty's  approval?  Well, then you're madder than Ron always claimed you were."

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically as he leaned against the doorway of the cupboard in question.  This had been going on all summer: the twins would delight in winding Hermione up, and she would respond by losing her temper in a rather spectacular fashion.  Quite frankly, he was getting a little annoyed with how she let them get to her the way they did.  She should have known better.  It was almost like she _enjoyed_ the twins' games.

Harry frowned at that thought before snapping back to the situation.  "Oh, for goodness sakes, Hermione.  We'll just look through them ourselves.  You're the only one who knows what we're looking for, anyways.  You can tell me what to do just as easily as you could tell Fred or George."

"Aw, is little Harry jealous of our animal magnetism?" Fred called out, a crooked grin dancing on his face.

"Don't worry, Harry," George chimed in.  "Some women are so shallow… easily dazzled by charm, intelligence, good looks and a keen wit."

"Yeah," added Fred.  "I'm sure there are some girls out there who don't care about that stuff at all."

Hermione's hands fisted into balls and she stared daggers at the twins before turning on her heel.  She grabbed Harry's hand and yanked him into the cupboard after her.  "You're right, Harry, we don't need them!" she shouted out over her shoulder to the laughing twins.

"That's what you think!" one of the red-heads shouted back before the door slammed shut, suddenly trapping Harry and Hermione in total darkness.  
      
"For heaven's sake, you bloody imbeciles!" Hermione shouted through the door as Harry quickly tried to open it.  

"It's locked, Hermione," Harry called over to her.  "Give me some light, would you?" he asked.  

Hermione quickly muttered a quick _"Lumos!"_ allowing Harry to see the door knob, and then placed the wand on a high shelf to light the small chamber.  

After he had shouted a few _Alohamoras_ at the door to no avail, Hermione practically shrieked in anger before slamming her hands against the door.  "If you two buffoons  don't let us out of here, I swear to Merlin you're going to regret it!"

The twins' muffled laughter carried through the door.  "You're a smart girl, Hermione," one of them called to her.  "We're sure you and the Chosen One can figure it out!"

And with another chorus of laughter, Harry heard some footsteps and then a door (presumably the one that led to the stairs out of the basement) slam shut.

Hermione was seething.  She was muttering about how she was going to make the twins pay even as she increased the light so that she could better examine the inside of the cupboard.  "Figure it out?  I'll show them some figuring out.  And then they better figure out a way to stay alive!"

Harry frowned again in irritation.  "You know, Hermione, there's no reason to be so upset.  It's just a prank; I'm sure we'll be out of here in no time.  It's not like we're going to die down here."

Hermione spun around to face him.  "Well, with that attitude we certainly aren't going to get out of here any faster!"

Harry stepped closer to her.  "And are you in that much of a hurry, Hermione?" he asked, though he sounded more demanding than he had planned.  "Are you that anxious to get back to your little games with Fred and George?"

Hermione looked confused at his tone, and took an involuntary step back.  "What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice sounding very different than when she was screaming at the twins only moments before.

Harry cocked an eyebrow at her question as he took another step forward.  "I mean, that I think you're not nearly as bothered by Fred and George's attentions as you try to let on." He stepped closer to her again, causing her to take another step back.  "In fact," he continued, taking yet another step towards her, backing her against the shelves at the end of the cupboard, before leaning down to whisper into her ear, "I think you like it."

He smirked to see her shiver in reaction to his hot breath on her ear and throat.  "I-I… I don't know what you're talking about!" Hermione finally answered, though her stammer was at odds with her words and tone.

Harry put his hands on either side of Hermione's head, resting them on the shelves behind her.  He leaned forward again, this time to whisper into her other ear.  "Oh, I think you know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."  Harry dipped his head a little lower, breathing in the scent of her neck before putting his lips only a hair's breadth away from her ear lobe.  "You're a little tease, aren't you my Hermione?"

And then, he reached out with his tongue, and deliberately and slowly, swiped at the delicate outer shell of her ear.  He smiled as he felt Hermione shiver under him.  He didn't move from his position, and continued to oh-so-lightly run his tongue along her earlobe, before pulling it into his mouth to skim his teeth along the sensitive skin.  

Hermione's body was tense, but she didn't push him away.  In fact, when he moved from her ear to her neck, nipping at her creamy skin, he heard a distinct moan escape from her lips.

"Harry?"  she asked, her voice filled with a breathy fluster.  "What are you doing?"

Harry chuckled against her throat before pulling back.  "You're a smart girl, Hermione," he answered, echoing the twins' sentiment.  He pushed his lean body further against hers, causing Hermione to gasp as he trapped her against the shelves.  "Are you telling me that you don't know what I'm doing?  Is the only way that you can relate to a man is by yelling at him?  First Ron, and now the twins?" he asked as he brought one of his hands down from by her face, lightly running his fingertips down her side.  When she gasped in response, he sent her a wicked smirk.

He leaned his head forward, till his lips were a breath away from hers.  "That's a terrible shame, my Hermione," he rasped, and her lips opened slightly as she felt the moist heat from his breath on her face.  "Because I can think of much better uses for that mouth of yours, rather than screaming at Weasleys."

"You can?" whispered Hermione, her eyes wide and fixed onto Harry's face as her tongue darted out to lick her lips.

"Definitely," he whispered back.  "if you're  going to scream, at the very least you should be screaming my name."

And with that he brought his mouth down onto hers.  He had been waiting so long for this moment, and now it was finally happening, courtesy of the Weasley twins.  

He pushed her hard against the shelf, bringing her small, curvy body completely against his as he smashed his lips against hers.

She was still for the first few seconds, shocked at her best friend's actions.  But her shock was soon replaced by a surrender to his intensity.  She quickly parted her lips to his, and he moaned as he was able to taste her for the first time.  His tongue swept into her mouth, and as he ran his tongue along hers, she sighed, melting into his sudden fervor as she brought her arms around him.

Harry wanted to crow in victory at finally getting Hermione where he had wanted her for so long.  But that would have required removing his mouth from hers, so the gloating would have to wait.

He groaned as she met his kiss with a growing heat.  She opened her mouth completely to him, breathing in his passion and excitement into her soul.  And for that moment, all that existed to Harry was him and Hermione and their mouths, and their tongues, and their lips and their breath.  

He finally tore his mouth away from hers to kiss her neck, her collarbone, and that amazing spot just above her cleavage.  And with every pant, gasp and sigh that he ripped from Hermione's throat, it only pushed his passion for her higher and higher.

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione moaned as he began to grind his hips against hers, his erection impossible for her to miss.  She grasped onto his shoulders and threw her head against the shelves as she lifted a leg onto his hip, pulling him even closer to her.   "Oh, god, Harry," she panted even as she began to writhe against him.

If Harry had wanted her before, it was nothing compared to his need for her at that moment.  He quickly tore her blouse off of her, and was rewarded by the sight of her in a sheer bra.  He shoved down the straps and bared her breasts to him.  He had only a moment to stare at their pert, full shape before he dipped his head down, taking one of the nipples into his mouth.

Hermione let out a howl of pleasure as he suckled hard at the breast, teasing at the nipple with his teeth even as Hermione continued to grind against his groin.  She panted his name, again and again, before grabbing onto his head and pulling it to her own, attacking his lips with hers.

Harry groaned into her mouth.  He couldn't believe how fevered Hermione was, how her passion had met his own, when she suddenly sucked his tongue into her mouth.

It took all of his control to not come in his pants right then and there.

When she finally released him, he returned the favor, ravaging her mouth until her body was limp and she was almost completely supported by his weight pushing hers against the shelves.

But he wasn't done with her.  "For fuck's sake, Hermione," he muttered against her neck as he made his way down to her other breast.  "Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this?  Do you have any idea how much I want you?"

"I think I have an idea," Hermione whispered back as she brought her hands down to the front of his trousers, cupping his erection through the fabric.

At the feel of her hands on him, even through his clothes, Harry became practically insane with his need for her.  He quickly pulled up her skirt and tore her knickers away, even as she was busy unbuckling his belt and pulling his trousers and boxers down his slim hips.  And when she grasped onto his erection, her thumb circling the head of his cock, it was Harry's turn to throw his head back, and shout his pleasure into the confines of the tiny room.

Hermione laughed a throaty laugh as she laid hot, wet kisses on his throat.  "Not such a tease now, am I?" she rasped into his ear.

And at that, Harry snapped.  He had to have her, be inside her, feel her hot, wetness surrounding him.  "We'll see if you're still laughing in a minute," he growled before lifting her  off of her feet and bracing her against the shelves, before bringing her hot cunt down onto his cock.

"HARRY!" she screamed, so loudly that (even through whatever charm the twins had put on the cupboard) Harry was sure that everyone in the house would have heard her screaming his name.  That thought—that anyone with ears would know that he was fucking her, _hard_ —made his already huge cock swell even more within her.

"That's right, my Hermione," he panted into her ear even as he thrust hard into her.  "Let them all know.  Let them all know that I'm going to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk for a week."

"Oh god, oh fuck, Harry, that's so fucking good, HARRY!" she shouted incohernetly even as she wrapped her legs around his hips, allowing him to slightly lift her and slam her down again and again onto his thick hardness.

"Yeessssss!" Hermione gasped as the inner walls of her pussy throbbed with a liquid heat around his cock.   

She squeezed around him on every stroke, and Harry was sure that he was close to passing out from the pleasure that she was giving him.  He could tell that they were both close, and he needed to feel her come around him.

He set her so that her ass was slightly resting on one of the shelves, so that he could reach down and stroke her clit even as he continued to fuck her.  As he rubbed the morsel of hot flesh, Hermione let out one last scream before her orgasm shook through her body.

But Harry didn't stop thrusting his hard cock inside her, and just as she was about to come down off of her climax, he stroked her clit again.  "Oh god, Harry!  Oh my god, fuck oh fucking god!" Hermione panted even as another climax began to build in her belly.

"I told you," Harry muttered against her neck.  "I told you that was going to fuck you hard.  No one ever made you come like this, have they?  When you were alone, in your bed, fingering yourself, did you ever come so hard, my Hermione?"

"Oh my god, no, Harry!  No one's been in me like you," she babbled, even as her pussy began to tighten around him.  "Oh my god, Harry, PLEASE!"

And at that, the sound of Hermione breaking down in her need for him, Harry pounded into her like a man possessed.  It's possible that the shelves shook, that precariously placed items were falling down around them, but Harry didn't notice or even care.  All he cared about was feeling Hermione come around his cock for a second time… And hearing her scream his name… And releasing himself deep inside of her.

"Harry!" she screamed one last time, gripping his shoulders so tightly that there would be marks left, even through the fabric of his shirt.

And as he felt her cunt ripple and pulse around him, he thrust once, twice more before he finally came.  "Hermione!" he cried out as he rode his unbelievably powerful orgasm out within her.  He was sure that he had never come so hard in his life, that being in her, coming in her, was one of the most intense experiences he had ever had.  As she laid soft kisses along his neck, he was worried that he might even black out.

 

 

_"Harry?  Are you okay?  Harry?"_

A voice called through to him.  He shook his head, disoriented.  Everything was dark and hazy.  _Had_ he passed out?  He was so confused, that it took him a moment to realize where he was.

"Oi!  Harry!" a voice shouted near his ear.  A voice that was most definitely _not_ Hermione's.

"What's going on?" Harry demanded.  "I can't see anything!"

"Don't worry, that'll pass in a few seconds," someone responded.  Harry frowned as he realized that the voice belonged to one of the twins.

And, right enough, the blurriness passed and Harry found himself laying on a sofa in the upstairs library of Grimmauld Place, the twins hovering around him.

"Well, I'd ask how it went, but the evidence speaks for itself," Fred remarked, the laughter barely held in check in his voice.

"Absolutely," nodded George, with a wicked twinkle in his eyes.  "You really better get to your room and change your clothes, Harry.  Before people start asking you a bunch of uncomfortable questions," he finished, with a pointed glance to Harry's trousers.

Harry was finally aware enough to feel the wet stickiness in his crotch.  And to remember what had happened.  "What the fuck did you two do to me?" he demanded as he jumped up from the sofa.

The twins laughed.  "You _agreed_ to test the new product for us, Harry," Fred guffawed.  "And besides, I don't think you can really complain."

"Yeah," George snorted.  "After all, it looks like you had a pretty good time."

"It was a fucking stick of ice cream!" Harry shouted.  "I didn't know it would do… That it would do _that!"_

The twins laughed again.  "Well it did do that.  Very successfully, if I interpret correctly," George responded.

Fred chimed in.  "Well, we didn't call them Wet Dreamsicles for nothing!"

Harry narrowed his eyes at the twins. "Nice of you to keep the name to yourselves until _after_ you got me to try it."

Fred chortled.  "Well, that's called strategy, Harry my boy.  Try to remember it."

The twins turned to leave the room, leaving a fuming Harry behind them.  "We left a few more of them for you in that box on the table," George called over his shoulder.  "It's charmed to stay cold.  For, you know, just in case."

Fred laughed and Harry could soon hear them thumping down the creaky old staircase of Grimmauld Place.

Harry stared at the box, with the WWWs painted in bright colors all over it.  And then he thought back to the dream.  The very vivid dream.  The best dream he had probably ever had in his life.

He stared at the box again.  And with a defeated sigh, he grabbed it and began to walk to his bedroom to change.

"It can't hurt," he thought to himself.  After all, it was bound to be a long, hot summer.

 

The End.

 

 


End file.
